Sunday, February 21, 2010

Avatar (Movie Review)



I know that this is a blog about games, but right near the word games is the word and, and behind that is stuff. So today I have to talk about stuff. While I typing I might as well start something, like Movie Reviews by Me! Anyway, around late 2009, I was laughing at all the jokes making fun of that horrible movie, Avatar. It's going to be horrible...blah, blah, blah...

So then it actually comes out and people are dancing around in a flower meadow, cancer has been cured, Cuba is free, scientists find life on the moon, there are aliens in the sea. Now that we're on the topic of James Cameron, let me thing of something to rant about. While I was watching Avatar, I realized that half of James Cameron's movies are pretty predictable. This guy falls in love...major disaster...someone important dies. The thing it's more stretched. The reason why Avatar and Titanic are so long is because Cameron realized, if people have time to get really attached to the characters, they will cry a river to the oscars. It worked for Titanic, but instead the main charcter lived in Avatar...so where is he going with this?

It's been a few months, and I have convinced myself not to see Avatar. Cameron is counting the money...but non of it is mine. Finally I decided to see it...in the old fashion theatre, no Imax for me. The story is this guy dies so they go to his brother, at the funeral, and offer him a job...more specifically his brother's old job. He connects to his avatar...or something like that...

Blah, blah, blah, blah...everyone hates the humans because we're destroying everything randomly...blah, blah, blah...this guy falls in love with one of the aliens...the military is going to destroy the aliens, but this guy is all like, 'we can do it,' which is strange because they are about 2,000 aliens with bows and arrows, against 500-3000 advanced soldiers with advanced weapondry. The main charcter escapes with his buddies, stealing some of the avatar gizmos to their secret lairer. For some reason the colonel rallies his troops, who strangely all look like truck drivers, to bomb the aliens, but instead of sending modern F-22s to just get the job done, he sends these weak and slow helicopters that have to manually drop a crate full of C4. I thought this was supposed to be the future? Anyway, when the aliens were shooting at th planes nothing happened, but in the big attack when an arrow hits the plane everything breaks and the plane crashes. There were even some times where a single alien took down 3-5 armed soldiers with his bare hands. For some reason it takes like 10 minutes worth of dramatic effect before they can drop the bomb, so by then a group of 1 or 2 aliens have alreay took down have the fleet. The human forces on the ground don't really know what to do they start burning everything. Meanwhile, the main character has been single handedly taking down the big planes with a hand grenade or two, flying from plane to plane. The colonel sees this, so he starts shooting the glass, killing the pilots and such. In the end the humans loose somehow and are shooed away.

People keep saying this movie was awesome. I hated it! It was horrible! I goes it was OK...but it doesn't deserve the credit it has gotten. The 3D was probably just a thin layer of coolness to shield the plot from critics like me.

New Super Mario Bros Wii



It this game good?
Short answer: No
Long answer: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
It seems like every year Nintendo fails yet again. Almost every Mario game to date is about a short sterotype itailian who saves a princess/relative from a evil castle, usually in control of a mini dragon who became emo in his teen years. Occasionally he gets unneeded and annoying help from his brother, but then Mario just kind of forgets him and runs away. You run around on a yellowish stone road to the castle, avoiding minor enemies and scary looking flowers.
Nintendo recently took that game, slightly tuned up the characters to look almost 3D, made it so there is four charcters, and then slammed the word New in front of it. Take a look for yourself. As you may have noticed, the only new aspect of the game is multiplayer. Actually now that I think about it, all Wii games are just you and 3 others beating each other up on a tiny map, complete with cartoon violence. Welcome to the club, new super mario bros Wii. Meanwhile, the Xbox 360 allows you to do this on a open map, with more compeling story, plot, characters, and everything else.
The characters in this new game, are Mario, Luigi, and two different color toads. That's like a super hero game with, superman, batman, and two recently hatched ducklings. Not that it matters though, because all the characters are exactly the same when it comes to ability. The plot is pretty much non-existant, and the concept got old about 20 years ago. The power ups are even designed so that only one person gets them too.
Even bad games have a place in history, sometimes even as teaching purposes, but this game doesn't deserve to exist. This doesn't even top previous mario games, at their standards, what so ever.
On the plus side, now you and three friends can all commit suicide at the same time...yay!

Top 10

Hooray! It's been one month and 2 days since my first post. Apparently I actually took time to rant about my life for more then 12 seconds. Today I thought I'd take this into another direction, since this is the fifth week anniversary...give or take some. Welcome to the Anniversary Top 10 Thingie!

Top Ten best games of 2009:
1. I Dunno
2. I Dunno 2: Escape from Lakeville
3. I Dunno: Streets of Liberty
4. McDonald Donalds and the Last Knight
5. NUk3D P3r50N's L1f3
6. 1 Vs. 100
7. 5432...7Zombie_game
8. DarkDoc: Arena
9. Roast Beef Expansion Pack for the game, FoodKIll
10. Over taxed

Most Memorable Video Game Characters Ever:
1. Duke Nuke'm
2. That guy that was in I Dunno...oh yeah, Jack Jackson
3. Master Chef
The rest is sucked into a vortex because of the awesomeness of Duke!